I dreamed of him…

It was a Thursday night full of sadness and tears. I hurriedly went to the bed and let my tired head rest on my favorite pillow. I just let the words of my mother passed from my left ear to the other ear. I didn’t eat. My mom scolded me and gave me millions of moral words, but I ignored. I stood from the bed and dressed like a princess. Not a princess in physical features but like a princess not doing anything. I slept ahead of time while my mother was not yet finished with her millions of words, “Hey, where are you going? You’ll not eat? It’s already 7:00. Why are you late? Was there an activity in school? Hey!”. When she opened the door of the room, I was already asleep I think. About a few hours after, I opened my eyes and saw nothing but black. Then I remembered that I was alone in the room without any glimpse of light. Then I heard of a voice saying, “Hey, eat here! It’s already 10:00”, my father said. “Don’t let her eat! Let her sleep the whole night without any food in her stomach. I’ve called her many times but she didn’t eat. Let hear learn a lesson”, my mom shouted. Though I felt hungry, I didn’t go to the kitchen because I know that there would be another millions of moral words waiting for me. I just close my eyes again…



Then I dreamed that I was in a room together with a guy I used to know. I didn’t recognize him that easily. And in my dream, I also had another dream…



We were in a wonderland full of flowers and medium-sized fruit-bearing trees. Fragrance was all around the place. We were wearing all white. At that moment, I already saw his face and embraced him as if that I know who he really was. We walked together and stroll at the place. We were alone at that place until there were birds coming to us and were singing a song that was very familiar to me. Then we arrived at a point where there was a river. The sound of the flowing river was very fascinating. Until we reach into the falls. It was so long that you hardly could look the most top end of it. But when we go around the wonderland, I feel into the ground when I stepped on a stone. When I woke up, I went back to my first dream, remember? I was still with him. In my first dream, I was unconscious before I woke up. And… that guy saved me. And do you know who was that mysterious man I’m talking about? He’s Oishi! Do you still remember Oishi? When you read my entry entitled “Special Friendship”, he was the man on that story.



It is almost 2 years since we separated after the graduation. As I’ve heard, he is presently studying at CIT. I still remember him and the memories we had. But honestly, I don’t remember the feeling anymore, maybe because he is away from me and maybe the love I felt before for him was not developed. But I really appreciate the dream about the wonderland. And I am happy that even once in my life, I dreamed of him…

How dare you say that?!

I’ve been studying high school in UP for almost 2 years already. And those years had already become memorable to me. I’ve met many challenges in everyday life and different problems encountered. I made many mistakes and I’ve done many successes. But one thing sure is I’ve done my best and I did what I have to do.



Almost all of my sacrifices resulted to something good. I am a consistent honor student until now and I’m happy about it. But I wonder why, why people expect too much from me, especially my family. It’s like they think that I’m a genius or something? It’s like that I know everything and I can do everything. All of these things made me afraid to commit mistakes.



Whenever I made a mistake, people would say, “You’re intelligent, right? Then why didn’t you use your head?”. How dare they say that? They don’t know what I’ve done. They don’t know how many miles of problems I’ve crossed. They don’t know about what I feel. Sometimes the would say, “I thought you are smart, but why don’t you understand what I told you?”



When a person is smart, it doesn’t mean that he/she is perfect. Let’s consider my situation. Let’s just say that I am smart or somewhat like intelligent. I may be the most intelligent student in the school but it doesn’t mean that I can do everything that the people want me to do. It rally would not mean that I am forbidden to make mistakes. I can’t give you all what you expect from me. All I can do is to show what I got and what I can only do. And they don’t have the right to tell me who I really am just to show a reason why I should not commit mistakes.



You know what? It’s so painful for my part. I have so many sacrifices and yet this is what they will do to me. It’s so hard to be patient when you know that your feelings are being hurt. It’s hard to hide these feelings especially when these kinds of happenings are happening almost everyday.



Another thing involved here is my school. Why do they have to include my school in the issue? It’s nothing. It doesn’t mean that if I’m like this, it is because of the teachings of the schools. I know that UP students are intelligent and are expressive about their feelings but they really don’t have any right to use my school as a reason of my imperfectness. It is so disappointing when you knew that the people around you think that you are like this, when you know that you are not. It’s like they are having wrong impressions.



I just hope that they will change. I hope that they can also realize what I feel. I know they have conscience so they might as well feel bad of what they have done. I hope that this article would inspire others who have the same situation as I have. Don’t worry guys! We may not be the most perfect student or child in the world for them, but we can always be the best person in the whole world by being true to ourselves and being who we really are…

Do you believe in destiny?

I really do… I really do not know if I will believe in thing they call destiny. Destiny in dictionary means the seemingly inevitable succession of events. Some people understand destiny as coincidence, a chance or an accident. But some say that destiny really does exist. What if I’ll tell you that you are not destined with your love? Would you still love him/her? Would you believe in me? I’m not a fortune teller so don’t worry, just joking… So much for jokes, do you really believe in destiny? Is destiny important to you? Can it affect your relationship among family, friends and loved ones? Try to reflect on this situation because I do expect your comments, which must contain the answers to the questions.



Leslie loves Earl. They are classmates. (Oh, I forgot to tell you that this story is so true. It came from my cousin.) There was once a meeting in school. Leslie’s father entered the gate. He didn’t know where was Leslie’s room so he asked a boy. (The boy was Earl.) After asking, Leslie’s father continued walking. Then he arrived at the registration table. While signing, Earl’s mother arrived. (Hmmm…) Leslie saw what happened. She then smiled. After the meeting, Leslie’s father and Earl’s mother talked to each other while Leslie and Earl behind their parents were very silent.



Another incident was about the project. It was a project that involved speaking, writing and reporting. Leslie was assigned for speaking and she had to be partnered with someone who was not good in English. Then it happened that her partner was Earl. She then felt worried because she knew that she would not be comfortable with him, until the moment of truth came. As expected, Leslie could not speak straight because something was in her mind and it’s very obvious that it was all about Earl. After the activity, they still never talk to each other. But Leslie wondered why Earl would also be silent when he was not with other girls in the room. (They were secret lovers.)



One guy came to Leslie and said that Earl could not talk to Leslie because he had fallen for her and Earl was trying to stop his feelings because of something very personal. (At that time when Earl was falling for Leslie, Earl had already a girlfriend but it was a secret.)



Leslie wondered what was that personal reason why Earl was trying to stop his feeling towards her. And then the unexpected thing happened. Leslie knew about Earl’s relationship with a girl on the same school. She cried because she expected to be loved by Earl. Earl really loved him but it was too late because he already had a girl friend. Leslie decided to ask Earl frankly. Earl denied his feelings and then Leslie stopped loving him for that reason. After a few months, Earl and his girl friend separated. Then Earl talked to Leslie and said, “I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I thought I could forget you. But I didn’t. And now I broke up with my girl friend just for you.” “Oh, really? You loved me? Why didn’t you fight for your love? Don’t you know it’s too late to say those words? You denied your feelings about me before and here you are in front of me pleasing me to accept you. Excuse me, Earl but I don’t love you anymore. You already hurt my feelings,” Leslie answered.



See? Even if you think that you are destined because of events that always happen between the two of you, it doesn’t mean that you are meant for each other. Destiny involves making decisions. And those decisions affect your destiny, your life and the life of your partner. So if I were you, try to say the things you want to say to anyone else. What if they are the words that could create your good destiny? Love and destiny are not the only things needed in a relationship, it always involves making decisions and acceptance of each other. Now, do you believe in destiny?

Being happy of your happiness

When I wake up every Saturday morning, I always feel very sleepy. It’s like I want to go to bed again and continue to sleep. But when I remember the students, something is telling me to get up right away and proceed to the bathroom. The students that I am talking about are the Hipodromo Elementary School students. They are the students that we are mentoring every Saturday starting from December until February.
,br>

Last March 17, the mentoring ended with a simple celebration but with a great meaning and pleasurable date for us mentors. We were there in a sports gym together with the other mentors, students, the PTCA of the school, the principal of the school, Sir Roberto Basadre and one official of the Ramon Aboitiz Foundation. Ramon Aboitiz Foundation was the sponsor of the Academic Mentoring program. We also call this program as MAKE.




I remembered the first time when I first saw the paper posted near the Palma room. I was interested in joining. I first thought that I am not qualified because I thought that only 3rd and 4th year students are allowed to join. But when I read the paper, it also include 2nd year students. Together with Ronald, we went to a 4th year student and registered right away. After I month I think, one of my classmates told me that I was accepted. I was happy upon hearing those words. I know that I can help many students just by teaching them lessons from Mathematics. I know that I can be one of the keys to their future. I think that I am one of the people who could be part of their lives as they go through to their journey.



When I first taught there, I felt awkward because they are not the students I used to see when I was in elementary years. The students I used to see were clean but when I saw them, I felt pity on them not because they are poor but because they were not given any opportunity to be clean just in a little way. Because of that, I was more encouraged to teach well and also to encourage them to study hard for their grades. I observed that they were not that slow learners, in fact they are fast learners. They only lack follow-ups and more support from their parents or their guardians.



Going back to closing ceremony, it was a happy day. There were games for the students and of course they were prizes for the winners. There were speeches from people involved of the mentoring program including the mentors and some of the students. I was happy hearing the message of one of the students. I was overwhelmed when she said that she had a great time with us during the mentoring weeks. I felt satisfied that my sacrifices in waking up early every Saturday morning resulted to something good. Not just good but we made the students better in their educational performances.



When I saw them happy, I was also happy. As long as I know that they were benefited, I could find the job successful. As long as I know that they will always remember what we taught, I will be confident that they will be on the right track for their goals. In behalf of the other mentors, I want to say, “Thank you and good luck!” to the students of the Hipodromo Elementary School. We are happy of your happiness.

What a UP student is not

We all know that UP consists of brilliant students, right? I’m not boasting but we can’t deny the fact that if we are compared to students from another school, we are outstanding! I’m happy that I’m part of those success of UP. But nothing is perfect. Nobody is perfect. We too are not perfect. So, what are the imperfectness on us?



It’s so shameful to say but we are not that neat. As you enter the classroom, foot mops are scattered all over on the floor. Pieces of paper are laid and even stepped. And… we only clean if we are told to do so and if there is checking on cleanliness drive. I hope that you had observed some students seeing pieces of paper or plastics but not picking them up. It’s so disappointing. I also admit that sometimes I don’t pick up plastics only if they are wet or they came from the muddy area. You could also see students in Home Tech room leaving the materials of their projects on the table and not keeping them in the safe and clean place. I’m not that very fun of cleaning but as long as I know that it’s really time to clean, them I would really clean.



I also observed that UP students are hard headed. Am I right? Yes, it’s true! You could see students not listening to the teacher and making some noise. I know that teachers hate noise when they discuss but they consider because they don’t want to waste any time in teaching. Oh, how patriotic! You could also notice students not following the rules and regulations in school. You could see some playing during school hours. That’s a violation except if it’s PE time. You could also see people writing anything on the board without any sense. That’s wasting chalk and that’s one of the rules always violated. When you say “silence”, they will really ignore you even if you are shouting. It’s like they didn’t heard any word from you. When there are practices, it will really finish late because the students will not listen to any of the leaders or the teachers.



Another problem of UP students is being late. I admit that I have tardy marks and I’m one of those contributing to the tardy marks of UP. Even if they were told to be early or if they were told for the deadline for any project, they would not do anything but rest and forget those projects. We are deadliners… we work during the last minute. We don’t work when there is enough time to do the project. We even ignore them and even forget about the deadline. That’s one of the complaints of the teachers. We are always not prepared and if we work on the last minute, of course, the details would not be complete because we are hurrying.


See? We are also like those students out there! I just hope that each time we realize our faults, we will already change them. I wish that we will be improved and that we will follow the rules of the school and have respect on ourselves and in our school’s image. How matter the weaknesses we have, we are still the UP students known as fighters and will never surrender ‘till the end!!! I love you, UP High!!!

Music: An effective pain reliever

I cried once but music had made me feel better. I was very angry one time and music made me calm. I was disappointed once but music made me not to worry. And when I’m happy, music is always there for me to make me happier.



I remembered one time when I saw unforgettable scenery; I suddenly ran from the place and went to the room and play the guitar. For about 3 songs, I felt calm and not angry anymore. Even I f I can’t forget what had happened; at least I have something to make me feel better whenever I remember what happened at that time.



I’m fun of playing musical instruments not just guitar but also bandurria, piano, organ and flute. Bandurria was the first musical instrument I had learned. I learned playing bandurria from my elementary years specifically grade 5. I was first under Sir Lyndon then after him, to Sir Norman who is the former teacher of Sir Lyndon.



Sir Lyndon was so good to me. In fact, I found him cute when I first saw him and he was very young compared to other music teachers in our school before. Sir Lyndon was silent but deep inside had many jokes. I thought I would have a hard time in learning the said instrument but it was so easy because I tried my very best. After many sessions, Sir Lyndon invited me to join the Saint Lourdes Parish Rondalla but it was so far from our place so I didn’t agreed. He told me that even if I was just grade 5 at that time, I would be qualified because I had the skills(char!). it was a great opportunity to me because I was the first bandurria player who was a beginner who was invited to join the group. By the way, he told me that invitation after I played successfully the first music piece he had given to us.



After cute Sir Lyndon, there came the hotheaded Sir Norman. He was very strict especially in attendance. Just 3 absent marks then you would be out of the group. And when you are late, you would stay at the back of the room without any copy of the piece. Sir Norman was very good when it comes to skills. He was very systematic and disciplined. But after that year, he and the school’s principal had an argument and later on, he was ousted from the school. I was sad about that news because Sir Norman really knows about music and I know that it was not his fault.



When I reach 2nd year, I was under Sir Warner Ylaya. Sir Warner was very very hotheaded. He was more hotheaded compared to Sir Norman. He always got mad even I there’s no reason to be mad. He always shouts whenever we made mistakes and that’s what I really don’t like about him. He was very unfair. He favored more on one of the members because that particular student was one of his students before. I really don’t like him and he was very insensitive about the feelings of his students.



And now, I’m already 2nd year. I’m enjoying playing the guitar almost everyday. I learned to play the guitar because of my father’s encouragements. But later on, it was already my choice to learn more about the guitar. Actually, I never had any music lessons in guitar. I just learned to play it by myself.



Music played a great role in my life. It is my 2nd best friend next to Jesus. It is always there for me. He knows well of what I feel. And whatever I feel, it reflects to the music I play. If one day I can’t hear any music, I would really be out of myself. I can’t imagine my life without the guitar, which is the instrument I always play. So for the heart-broken out there, I want to recommend music: an effective pain reliever.

GoGirl!!!

Since I was here in UP, I always smile and I always cry. I smile because of my success like being one of the honors. I cry because of the challenges and problems I’ve faced. Honestly I say, UP is so hard. It’s so hard to be here at 7:30 every morning. When you enter the campus, problems are starting to come over you. When you enter the classroom, you’ll see students busy studying and reading. Then you sit on your chair and also do the same things. Then the bell rings. Everybody is hurrying and returning their books to their bags because the teacher is there already. The test will start right away. Then you remember what time you slept last night. You studied the whole night. You reject watching television because of the test the following day. Then you suddenly forget one item on the test. You recall the things you had studied last night. Buy you can’t still remember. Oh my god! Well, if I know, that’s one of the expressions used of some students when they are on the same situation. Then the teacher suddenly said that the test is over. Then they will be checking of the test papers. When the papers are returned, your score just passed the passing grade. Then you feel like crying. Then you blame yourself because you didn’t study so much. Then you walked out of the room and go the comfort room and have all your tears falling there.


I really don’t want those things to happen me. I don’t want to imagine myself having low scores as failed scores. I don’t want to cry because of that reason. I want to be proud of myself even in just a little way. But as I journey everyday, the roads are getting harder to cross and longer to reach the end. I just wish I could have special powers that when I say study, my body would follow. And when I say recall, my brain will go back to the book’s page and tell me the correct the answer. But that is impossible, very impossible.


But despite of all the projects, assignments, researches and everything, I always have hope that I can do them all in time and in proper way. Every time I feel tired, I just sing a song and entertain myself so that I can’t sleep. See how hard it is to be UPian. I’m thankful that my classmates are also supportive. They believe in me as much as I believe in them. They appreciate me as much as I appreciate their abilities. I love my classmates and they are one of my inspirations. I just hope they will not stop loving me because I will never be tired of loving them. As much as I can, as much as I do, I will never surrender. I’ll do what it takes to be a successful person. I want to be like my father that even if he is already married, he is still trying to reach his goals. He is still working hard to be a great father to us. I just wish that my family would support me ‘till the end. I hope that they will not be tired of my excuses when I go home late or when I am not at home during rest days. I hope that until the very end of my life they could say, “GO GIRL!!!”